Sara’s Guide to a Happy Wife

The following post has been copied from Dr Sara Hassan's FB post
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brothers:

Women are not like men. We have different emotional and physical needs than you do. Our currency for a successful transactions with us is completely different to your preferred currency. And I know at times you feel like women are a complete mystery. That we’re never happy or satisfied no matter what you do. So you’ve stopped trying, because, she’s just a nagging shrew that makes your life difficult, right?

The amazing thing is, it’s not too hard to make your wife happy. You just haven’t been taught how to, because your culture taught you that as long as a woman is housed, clothed and protected by a husband who can give her children, then what more can she possibly need?

The fact is that women need more than what you’ve been taught to give her. The good news is that there are small things that you can do which can make your wife happy, ultimately leading to a happier family home and greater intimacy in your relationship.

So here we go...Sara’s Guide to a Happy Wife:

1. Spend time with us. We aren’t talking about the time you spend in the house sleeping, eating or parenting. We’re talking about quality time, one on one, where you talk to us, laugh with us, listen to us, and discuss current issues with us. Time where you make us feel like we are a priority in your life. Where the kids aren’t a distraction. Because when you decide to spend all your free time with your mates, you’re telling us that we are not your priority. That you’re not willing to give us the currency we crave the most: your attention.

2. Compliment us. Here’s the thing, we are very self-critical. We live in a society where the way we look is over emphasised. And sometimes it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. And when we’ve had a few children, gained a few kilos and sprouted a few white hairs, it’s so important for you to let us know that you still find us desirable. Remind us that we still take your breath away. That we are still the most beautiful woman you’ve known. That time has only increased our appeal in your eyes. Ask us if we’ve lost weight, even when we haven’t. It’s hard for a wife to want to kill her husband when he’s being so sweet and complimentary to her.

3. Tell us you love us. Yes, we know you were raised in a household where your parents never told you let alone each other the ‘L’ word. We know that some cultures are emotionally crippling. But it’s important for you to tell us. And show us. Hold our hand when we go out. It’s a small gesture that is not going to cost you anything but means the world to us.

4. Appreciate us. We shoulder a lot of responsibility in the relationship, and often that’s taken for granted. So remind us that you appreciate our efforts. Thank us for cooking dinner. For doing those mundane everyday things that you don’t notice until they’re left undone. When we feel appreciated, our toils become a labour of love instead of begrudging slavery.

If your relationship with your wife is floundering, please try the above four steps. Invest in us and I promise we’ll then have the capital to invest in you, with the currency you need from us.

- Sara Hassan